Hello again,
Today I was preparing an image for a quick Instagram upload and it caused me pause. I realised I had more to share than simply the image and so I share:
Several years ago my younger, stretch-enthusiastic self suffered a hamstring injury whilst splits stretching. I was livid. I thought, “I’ve always had good flexibility – didn’t even seem to need to work at it that hard.” And then, pop!
It needed time to heal. Apart from being painful, it left me frustrusted and it left me worried about how and if it would recover, and whether it would mean the end of training to a level which was bringing such enjoyment and positivity in my life.
Looking at things now, I can tell you that the injury was, in itself, the most positive of things for me. Because of it, and with support and guidance from my incredible sports therapist and class instructors, I learned. I learned about the vulnerability of over-stretched muscles when they are not being supported correctly. I learned about strengthening and stabilising the muscles around the hamstrings and not just the focus muscles themselves. I learned the value, if not always the execution, of being patient with myself and with the process of recovering. I learned that for the years since then, I would not return to the full stretch range to which I’d been working, but that for me, this was a good thing. The difficulty comes, not just in the physical challenge, but in the mental and biological realms. If I set my mind to doing something, I want to be really good at that something; not so much because I enjoy showing this achievement to others, but because sometimes my brain tells me that if I could be better at something then I should. I found, as I said, that I had fair flexibility and I maximised the good feeling of stretching that bit further, pushing that bit harder. What I hadn’t been doing is taking care of myself while doing this pushing, to achieve this perception of ‘better’. The message I was giving myself was not helpful without fully understanding how to do so with care and attention to the details. And so, there was injury. But there was also understanding – that I had work to do that I had neglected, and that this work was important. I started to ask questions as my injury recovered, wanting to understand how it had occured and how I could prevent it from happening again. I wanted to understand the anatomy and physiology, but also what was driving the ‘push harder’ thought and whether it had all the facts This thirst for discovery now with me, I have continued my love of yoga, dance, meditative movement and just movement in general with fresh perspective. Find the balance, find the pairings and sharings in the phyiscal movement, but also in then connection to how you feel, how you breathe, where and what sensations you feel. What is working, what is supporting?
My ‘push harder’ thought hasn’t gone away. It still gets over excited from time to time. Also now, there is fear of pushing too far again. I try to temper these thoughts with a balanced view, an educated view of whether this stretch or that is a good idea today, and then try to tune down into the body for its instinct and intuition – does it feel right today to work within, to or beyond that comfortable edge just a little bit more and are all the right support mechanisms in place?
I try to consider why I want that longer, further stretch. Sure, maybe it looks awesome but is it useful? Is it providing a benefit beyond this? Is it supported? Am I working with my breath? How does it feel?
I also try to exercise patience and care with myself and my practice, knowing that not every day is the same.